Overcoming Mental Blocks: Getting Out of Your Own Way

Photo by @chris_robert Unsplash

Sometimes the thing standing between us and what we want isn't time, ability, or opportunity. It's our own brain. We've probably all had those moments. You know you need to start something, but you can't seem to make yourself do it. You want to try something new, but immediately think of ten reasons you probably can't. Or you spend so much time thinking about doing something perfectly that you end up doing absolutely nothing.

I have definitely been there. Mental blocks can show up in fitness, work, relationships, creative projects, or pretty much anywhere else in life. And I've learned that getting past them usually isn't about suddenly becoming more motivated or fearless. Sometimes you just have to figure out how to get out of your own way.

Figure Out What's Actually Stopping You

When I feel stuck, my first instinct can be to assume I'm being lazy or unmotivated. But usually there's something else underneath it. Maybe I'm overwhelmed. Maybe I don't know where to start. Maybe I'm worried I won't be good at it. Maybe the task feels so big that avoiding it feels easier. Or maybe I'm just tired. Those are all very different problems, which means they need different solutions.

Instead of immediately criticizing yourself for not doing something, ask yourself a better question: What's making this feel hard right now?Sometimes simply identifying the real issue makes it feel a lot more manageable.

Stop Waiting Until You Feel Ready

We tell ourselves we'll start when we feel more motivated, confident, prepared, or inspired. Unfortunately, that magical feeling of being completely ready doesn't always show up. Sometimes action has to come first. I see this with exercise all the time. You don't necessarily feel motivated to work out, but you start anyway. Ten minutes later, you're glad you did.

Motivation often follows action, not the other way around. You don't have to feel ready. You just have to be willing to begin.

Make the First Step Almost Ridiculously Small

When something feels overwhelming, I try to make the first step smaller.

Not “finish the entire project.” Open the document.

Not “get back into shape.” Do ten minutes of Pilates.

Not “completely organize the house.” Clean one drawer.

There's something powerful about proving to yourself that you've started. Once you've taken that first small step, the next one usually doesn't feel quite as difficult, and even if that tiny step is all you accomplish that day, it's still movement in the right direction.

Let Yourself Be Bad at Something

As adults, we tend to avoid things we're not immediately good at. We forget that being awkward, confused, or inexperienced is a completely normal part of learning. Pilates is a perfect example. There are exercises that can feel completely impossible the first time you try them. Your brain understands the instructions, but your body seems to have missed the meeting entirely. Then you practice.

One day something clicks. Suddenly you can do the thing you were convinced your body wasn't capable of doing. Imagine if you had stopped trying because you weren't good at it the first time. Being a beginner isn't something to be embarrassed about. It's the starting point for getting better.

Pay Attention to the Story You're Telling Yourself

Sometimes our mental blocks aren't based on facts. They're based on stories we've repeated so many times that they feel like facts. “I'm not athletic.” “I never stick with anything.” “I'm too old to start that.” “I'm not confident enough.” “I'm just not that kind of person.”

Those statements can quietly become instructions. If you've already decided you're someone who never sticks with exercise, every missed workout becomes evidence that you were right. Try changing the language. Instead of, “I never stick with anything,” maybe it's, “I'm learning how to create a routine that works for me.” It may sound like a small distinction, but the second statement leaves room for change.

Stop Letting Perfect Become the Enemy of Done

Perfectionism can look a lot like procrastination. If you can't do the full workout, you do nothing. If you can't do the project exactly how you imagined it, you don't start. If you can't follow the plan perfectly, you decide you've failed. But something doesn't have to be perfect to be valuable.

A 15-minute workout counts. A first draft counts. An imperfect attempt counts. Sometimes “good enough” is exactly what gets us moving again. You can always improve something once it exists.

Remember That Fear Doesn't Always Mean Stop

Feeling nervous about something doesn't necessarily mean it's the wrong choice. Sometimes fear simply means you're doing something unfamiliar. There's a difference between your instincts telling you something isn't safe and your brain telling you something is uncomfortable because you haven't done it before. Learning to tell those two things apart takes practice. I've found that some of the things I'm most proud of required me to do something before I felt completely confident doing it. Confidence often comes after we prove to ourselves that we can handle something.

Look Back at What You've Already Done

When we're focused on what we haven't accomplished yet, it's easy to forget everything we've already made it through. Think about the things you once thought you couldn't do. The difficult seasons you've survived. The skills you've learned. The times you started over. The moments you figured things out even though you didn't know exactly what you were doing. You already have evidence that you can do hard things. Sometimes you just need to remind yourself of it.

Know When You Actually Need a Break

Not every mental block needs to be pushed through. Sometimes you're stuck because you're exhausted. Rest and avoidance aren't the same thing. There are times when stepping away, sleeping on something, going for a walk, taking a Pilates class, or giving yourself a day to reset is exactly what you need. The important thing is being honest with yourself about whether you're intentionally resting or endlessly avoiding. A break should help you come back.

What Pilates Has Taught Me About Mental Blocks

Pilates has taught me a lot about the relationship between the mind and body. Sometimes your brain says, I can't do that, before your body has even had a chance to try. And sometimes you really can't do it…yet.

So you modify. You practice. You build strength. You try again. Eventually, something that once seemed impossible becomes part of your regular practice. I think there's a pretty good life lesson in there. Not being able to do something today doesn't mean you're incapable of doing it. It might simply mean you're still building what you need to get there.

A Final Thought

Overcoming a mental block doesn't always require a dramatic breakthrough. Sometimes it looks incredibly ordinary. You send the email. You put on your workout clothes. You make the appointment. You write the first sentence. You try the exercise. You take one small step before your brain has enough time to talk you out of it. Then maybe you take another. We don't have to eliminate every fear, doubt, or negative thought before moving forward. Sometimes we can bring them along with us and move anyway.

-Natalie